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Bahamas: ...every Sunday the number of men actively attending church services decreases
Related to country: Bahamas

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When the household head refuses to go to church:
By KARAN MINNIS, Guardian Lifestyles Reporter -
Nassau, Bahamas:



Men — in most societies they are considered the head of the home. They are expected to make the rules and set the example. They are supposed to make the decisions and set the home foundation.

Can you imagine what happens when the examples fall short? And more importantly, what happens when these "household leaders" turn their backs on the church and its teachings and principles? This scenario is not so hard to imagine as every Sunday the number of men actively attending church services decreases.

In their defense, many of these men claim that they have valid reasons.

Augustus Strachan, (name changed) a 51-year-old former Anglican with a family of three, says for him church has just become a society event with no true meaning to its purpose, hence his reason for not attending.

"Church has become a social event, and that's why I don't go," he said. "Most people who go don't really go for a sincere reason, which is to connect with God. They go more for the sake of going, or as a custom. Most of them, go because when they were younger they were encouraged to go, but they don't know why they go, and that doesn't make much sense.

"My wife attends church regularly, but she's Catholic, and my daughter when she goes, she goes to a Baptist church. But even she knows to take churches at face value and to have her own beliefs," he said.

Strachan said it would take a lot for his mindset to change, and that for him the church itself may need to change.

"People are beginning to realize that the church is not really what it claims to be, and when more people come to see it this way, more and more people will stop going to church. But that's a sign that the church needs to change and to become a real place of worship and not just another gathering place," said Strachan.

Dale Dean, 29, a former Jehovah's Witness says that the church's beliefs are just not his own, and that attending any church ever again will not happen for him.

"I cannot live by their rules," he said. "I just can't. I want to be me and live my life how I want. And I figure that if you go to a church and they have a way of life that you should be living and you wouldn't, you shouldn't be there. That's just me. And to me lying is a waste of time. And so if I won't live by their rules I won't go to the church.

"I want to drink until I get drunk and I want sex before I get married. And I'm straight-up. The church ain't into that, so I don't go," he said. And while he says he will never go to church again, the former Jehovah's Witness, also believes that no religion other than that studied by Jehovah's Witnesses is a true religion, and no other church will do.

"I think that this [Jehovah Witness] religion is the only true religion," he said. "They don't play no games with it and I like that. They don't mess around - either live by the rules or go. But when you're ready to come back, they'll take you in with open arms. But I won't be back," he emphatically stated.

Still single, the young man said that if he marries and has a family, and his wife says the children have to go to church, they will have to go. But he won't be there with them.

Although both men feel that they have really good reasons not to attend church, according to Canon Basil Tynes of St. Baranbas, Anglican Parish, Baillou Hill and Wulff Rds., men like Munnings and Dean have simply have lost their roles in both life and the church.

"If you look around Nassau, it's easy to ask where are the men," he said. "The women are the ones taking over, they are the ones in control and that's because the men have lost focus. They have lost their way, and that's a big part of the problem.

"In the past the men knew what their roles were. They knew that they were the providers, the leaders and that it was their responsibility to lead their family. But today they seem to have forgotten that. They seem lost and out of place, and this has now stumbled into the church," he said.

"These men need help. They need to find their way and that's where we as the church need to step in. It's not only that they have lost their way, some of these men have lost faith in the power of the church for various reasons. They feel that we aren't doing something right."

Rev. Tynes said that the church will not give up on trying to get through to men like Strachan and Dean.

"These men need to see that not everything is prefect. No one is. "But we as the church leaders need to figure out a way for us to get these men back. And that will take some planning and communication. It's not a one-way process. It will take steps, but it's something that must be done to change the way things are going."

According to Rev. Gary Curry of Evangelistic Temple Assembly of God, 4th Terrace, Collins Ave., the issue is really a spiritual problem - not just emotional.

"I think that we to some extent recognize that at most churches the majority of members are women - and we have a good representation in our church - but I think that one of the issues has to do with the church leadership. And in some cases it has to do with the fact that men want to have intelligent leadership.

"They want leadership that provides honesty and integrity and let me put it this way ... a pastor once told me that 'men don't want to go to a church and have women tell them what to do,' and maybe that's the problem. I think that has a lot to do with it, but it's a spiritual problem, and it's something that most churches are facing."

Rev. Curry said that he does not think that women really set out to control, but had to because of the lack of men taking on their leadership roles the females had to.

"To change that, I think that they [men] need a lot of teaching and that all the men and women need to do that. Because the men need to provide the leadership that the young men can follow. Then we'll see a change," he said.

11/22/07

November 24, 2007 | 5:35 PM Comments  0 comments

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