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Bahamas: Sweethearting and the Church in the Bahamian Society
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Sweethearting and the CHURCH:
By KARAN MINNIS, Guardian Lifestyles Reporter -
Nassau, Bahamas:



Every country has its faults, and while at this time many persons are focusing upon the biggest of all - crime, it maybe a good time to point out another - sweethearting.

For those who do not know sweethearting is simply when a married man or woman has a sexual relationship with a person who is not their spouse. And it's a problem that has plagued the Bahamas for centuries, separating families and ruining lives. And in the case of Maxine Lockhart (whose name has been changed to protect her privacy) sweethearting has done just that.

Maxine is the mother of four little girls and has been married for 14 years, however she is now a single mother.

"I was a good wife, and I loved my husband. But he was unfaithful to the point that he contracted HIV and now he's gone, leaving me with the burden of raising our four daughters and with the knowledge that he has more children out there in the world."

Admitting that she does not know how many women her husband has cheated on her with, Maxine says that she is thankful that she does not have the virus.

"I loved him and he wasn't always this way," she said. "So I had hope that it would stop. But his ways stopped him. And that's the most troubling part of it all. But I just hope that some man or woman out there will see this and know that their actions can affect a lot of lives in so many ways. Because my husband is gone, my kids are with out a father and I am afraid to trust any man again and I just want to say that for quite a few people this is the end result of adultery.

"I am a Christian woman and I have faith in the Lord but it's hard. It's hard because people know how my husband died and I know people think I have it too or that my kids do. But we don't, but to those who are doing this, sleeping around and stuff, it could happen to you. And we all know that someone that's doing it or whose in the same state as me."

But more importantly says Canon Basil Tynes of St. Barnabas Anglican Parish, located on Baillou Hill and Wulff Roads, it's also a sin that should not be tolerated.

"It is a sin, and it has to be addressed," he said. "Sin is sin and at the end of the day the church has to address it and the church has to be able to challenge its members to realize that it is not the ideal.

"[Sweethearting], it takes away from families, it takes away from family life, it destroys persons. And with so much HIV and AIDS going around and with wives who are investing into the relationship and then their husband comes and infects them, there are so many issues that are related to it. And we, as a church, as a nation, are not dealing with it effectively.

"But the sad part about it is that many times in the church because the culprit has a high position in the church or high offices the pastors don't want to touch them, and that's yet another issue."

But according to Canon Tynes, these pastors should be the ones to advocate change and to step the example.

"These pastors should not avoid these subjects, they should not just gloss over it as they have. That's not right and they know it," he said. "They will jump up and carry on about the homosexual issue but they can't do the same with this. But they can't keep living with this double standard, and they shouldn't. Because this double standard is ruining our community and our lives. It's that simple, we need to stop living by a double standard because this sin just like all others needs to be stopped and dealt with."

And according to Rev. Gary Curry of Evangelistic Temple Assembly of God, 4th Terrace, Collins Ave., his church simply does not accept it.

"This is an issue that we talk about all the time," he said. "We are very much opposed to it and we let our people know that that kind of stuff just isn't biblical and it's shameful. And to be honest we don't like it so we don't play around with it."

Adding that persons that commit this sin are not even allowed to act in leadership roles, Rev. Curry said that when it comes to what the Bible has to say they choose not to take another side.

"In this case, the Bible is very clear and we choose to be that way about the issue as well," he said. "That's what we believe and that's what we practice. And if a person is an official member of our church and we feel that we have the right to deal with the issue on an one on one basis. But if you're not, we'll speak to you if need be or if asked. However, this is something that should not be tolerated as it's not acceptable."

11/29/07

November 29, 2007 | 5:43 PM Comments  0 comments

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